friends:
i've changed my mind. i am writing again.
i am gonna make a come back. i've steeled my resolve.
i am gonna make some changes, however, of a pretty fundamental nature.
i have been so impressed by the correspondence i have received from my former radical leftist adversaries, ... , all of it thoughtful, mature, and well thought out and stated, and ever respectful of my dignity as a person, ... , that i am going to become a marxist-leninist.
i shall become a marxist-leninist zealot, and to show my solidarity with all the oppressed governmental employees the world over, i am going to apply to social security for a sex-change operation so that i may subsequently become a "pink lady," and go bare breasted at anti-war rallies, and the like. i expect that i should be as thorough going a homely mutt as any of the pink ladies i have ever seen naked, and i will gain 100 lbs. to be one of them. my teeth aren't so good as it now stands, so i should be just one of the girls pretty quick.
let me see, now. let's see if i have all the bases covered.
marxist-leninist. check.
sex change. radical feminist. check.
and, ... , oh, yes. i am going to become a lizard. a charles johnson acolyte. i shall spew bad poetry, take bad photos, and write posts any 5th grade girl on the school paper would be proud of. and, when weary political warriors throw in the towel on ever informing the public of the issues of the day, i am going to write nasty bilious stuff to them, spew invective, especially when it shall appear that they have promised not to defend themselves any more.
nothing like kicking someone when the prospect appears that they will not kick back.
boot licker. check.
yes, from this day forth i shall spew bile and silliness forever. but, now, it is going to be from the perch of enlightenment, and i shall be way holier than anyone else, and way holier than thou. maybe even holier than Johnson, he whose name should not be uttered except in reverent awe.
let me see, i shall just have to get a little soft belly, pick up a couple chins, and get my nails done and rid myself of those nasty callouses, and get little soft girlie hands and a limp wet cold handshake, and breath that smells like a dead tuna, and i think i shall have it. and, oh yes, a soft cashmere turtle neck to go with the pipe i shall effect.
i am just waiting for the right people to tell me what to say and think, and to tell me what the current party line is. and, the uniform of the day. something i hope that will go with my new gray cashmere, as they add such a pleasant aspect to a little round belly and sloped shoulders. (that can be done surgically, can't it. i shall have to inquire of the social security types, for medicare.)
i am looking forward to it. my remaining days, my dotage, spent in mindless reverie and supported by some sort of disability payment. i do hope and trust there will be someone to pay the taxes, or at least to run the printing presses. i especially am looking forward to the mindless reverie stuff, i think that i will be good at it, as i have seen the lights.
do you think that i might gain an audience with charles the j., and kiss the hem of his bermuda's, near his inner thigh? he would like that, very much, i should expect. i intend to emulate him to a "t," as the above paragraphs might well indicate, to the perspicacious.
john jay @ 10.06.2011
p.s. and, since i am going to transform myself to become a radical leftist feminist lesbian, i believe that i shall have my newly minted clitoris mutilated by a broken glass bottle, and become a muslim. though, i will be a modernist, and i will not wear the burkha, just a fetching little head scarf thingie, in the same pattern the other radical leftist lesbians have worn them, like yasser arafat and christine amapour, the wonderful little lesbian muslims that they are.
i shall show my surgical scars proudly. and reverently. to whoever would like to look. all this, to show that i am solid with all the peeps.
for, i march with the onslaught of history. and never callous again shall mar my pudgy soft little manicured hands, and i shall wear gloves to avoid splinters from the poster sticks.
i suppose i shall have to adopt a cause. i know, i shall repudiate my barbaric hunting hobbies, and champion neutering the lemmings, so they won't dash tragically to the sea from the pressures of over population.
i shall eat sea weed and water cress, and dine with my little finger pointed poignantly into the air. as a symbol of something.
i aspire to be as absolutely worthless a human being that i can be, for people with soft hands have never done evil. i shall read all the trendy books. and, say all the right things. and, i shall harbor not the slightest suspicion that any of it is silly. my mind shall be empty of all, except those slogans i am told to utter. i shall be, ... , correct. and armed with the faith that i am.
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