i walked into the counter at the post office, and this little short white haired lady stood as the counter looking at a sack of onions she'd somehow managed to heave up onto it. her head was just barely above the level of the onions.
the postal worker behind the counter did not look amazed. she calmly weighed the onions, and announced that the little old lady owed her $53.95 postage for shipping them. i talked to the little old lady later, and she said that she was shipping them to friends in maryland.
walla walla sweets, doncha know, raised by the sons and daughters of italian immigrants, right on the best bottom land in the valley. there is some questionas to whether the walla walla sweets are better than those raised in valdosta, georgia***, but, who cares? they are both delicious sweet onions, and i'll stick w/ the walla walla's.
waiting for mary the clerk to get done taking the money from the little old lady, a fellow walked in behind me with a large cardboard box that announced that it contained "live birds." sure enough, almost on cue, a pigeon cooed from inside the box. the box, large enough as it turned out to hold seven 7-week old pigeons, was a standard container for shipping live birds via the post.
chatting with the old man who was shipping them, i remarked that i'd never heard of such a thing. he remarked that they really weren't birds, implying that they were more like people. i didn't ask him if the post office shipped live people in cardboard boxes, because he was so nice and earnest.
well, that was quite a day for me. first onions. then live pigeons.
what next? well, as it turned out, as i was driving down the road towards my brother's little rural shop, i looked down the road and saw this large purple object chugging up the road in my lane. as i approached, it was a rather stout woman decked out in her walking shoes and "warning devices," consisting of the largest irredescent purple outfit i'd ever seen. she wasn't one of those little fat things that waddles more than walks .... nope, she was purposeful, she was under a full head of steam making good way, and her arms and leggings were flailing with the pace. she glanced, without a wave, as i gave her the lane when i passed.
well, all i can say is, what's next?
the world may contend from day to day w/ the idiocy of obama, and marvel at the cheek of the greeks, but know yee well, that all is good and "normal" in milton freewater, and here, the postal clerks will ship your onions and live pigeons with a smile, and never a look of disapproval. you can have your corner of the world, and i'll take mine, thank you. it's the onions, you know.
john jay @ 07.13.2015
***vadalia onions, for those who care. very good onions, btw. but, i'll still eat my walla walla sweets.