raghead offers bounty on death of film maker .... which got me to thinking, how much is his scrawny butt worth? .... just askin' ....

pakistani railway commissioner ghulam ahmad bilour offered payment in the amount of $100,000 to any person who kills the man responsible for making the 14-minute film that has all the rest of the ragheads all worked up into a homicidal lather.  (not that it takes so very much to work them into a homicidal lather  ...  much the way i feel after watching an episode of "sponge bob squarepants," i suppose.)

apparently he also asked the taliban or the al queda to carry out the killing, from which i infer that as an infidel i would not be eligible for payment should i carry out the killing.  is that not discrimination on religious grounds, somehow?  the aclu should look into it, or maybe the southern poverty law center.

as a gratuitous aside, the graft business working as a governmental functionary in pakistan must be pretty good, if this guy can afford to scrape up the money out of his personal petty cash fund to offer such a bounty.

but, the whole thing has got me to thinking, ... , which usually gets me into trouble with little green footballs and the fop at barth notes, ... , and what i am wondering, is just how much is ghulam ahmad bilour's scrawny ass worth?

i am a little concerned about some logistical issues involved in such an undertaking, the first one being i don't know anyone in either al queda or the taliban who might carry out such a scheme for me.  the good minister must, however, or else he would not have asked his friends to carry out his task/wishes for him.

the other thing, adverted to above, is that i really don't know how to set a fair price on such a goat herd.  let's say i offer too much, (in terms of my ready cash, as i am not a pakistani official with my fingers in the cookie jars of state, as it were), someone shoots his ass, and i am short the promised bounty.  i really don't want to cross a demonstrated assassin, now, do i?

what if i were to offer too much, (in terms of the perceived worth of he who consorts sexually with his mama's goats, as it were), and people don't take me seriously, and therefore no one carries out the deed.  that would not reflect well on me, as a player in the international terror and/or assassination scheme of things.   bad, were i to desire arranging future gigs.  as in all things, credibility is everything in this world.

and, then, of course, there is the matter of offering too little to induce someone else's criminal behavior.  even the taliban or the al queda are not going to risk an operative if the remuneration is not sufficient to lure someone to islamic heaven: even religious zealotry has to keep an eye on the bottom line, whatever it might be in such matters of faith, belief and religious observance.  what is the fair market value for a big headed loud mouthed camel jockey?   certainly not very damned much in milton freewater, oregon, ... , illustrated by the fact that one of my friends at breakfast said, "i wouldn't give you a warm bucket of spit for the bastard."

trenchant observation.  and, quite accurate.  

i am not going to offer good money to have a worthless son of a bitch killed.

what's the point in that?  it would be just bad business.  not three people in the world knew who the prick was before he held his press conference, and three weeks from now, not three people in the world will know who the worthless toad is.

upon due consideration, i think what i will do, instead of making a counter offer on the prick, is just to let the vagaries of pakistani politics take care of the matter for me, over sweet time.  here's my reasoning.--now, before he made this rather ill-considered remark, (given that even his islamic brethren are disowning him as if he were a 10 day old dead cat in the bridal suite), he was probably suitably obscure and insignificant that he really had no rivals in government.

i mean, how much can it mean to be the railway minister.  what's in that?

but, now, he has shown that the position has to be worth a little bit, as he has a little scratch, enough to offer a $100,000 bounty.  it's not likely ever to be collected, witness that the muslims have not been able to bring salmon rushdie to justice since just about forever, and he's probably been living in pakistan right next to osama bin laden.   the muslims really aren't very good at "finding," let alone "noticing" people who have sufficient scratch to bribe the local police and intelligence operatives.

but, this guy, in announcing a target for his religious zealotry, has now made himself a target for anothers greed and political ambition, a person who lusts for a position in which he can accumulate $100,000 in spare change by which to offer such inducements in others.

my guess is, that ghulman ahmad bilour is killed by a rival a long time before an obscure federal felon now in witness protection is ever dug up.  hey, a metaphor, ... , ghulman bilour is gonna be dug in before his intended victim is dug up!!  

i like it.   a good metaphor, and justice done, all in one swell foop.

john jay @ 09.24.2012

p.s.   get this.  this is rich.  ghulman ahmad (aka "ahman") bilour is a "non-violent" muslim.  he belongs to a non-violent islamic political party.  laughing.  only the ragheads can have a "non-violent" political party in which a cabinet minister puts out a "hit" on a man half a world away, and a universe removed, from islam.  it would be funny, if it were a woody allen movie.

 

Comments

[marc in calgary]

Can you just imagine for a few seconds going to Pakistan, with proof of a murder in your luggage, and knocking on this guy's door in order to collect said bounty?
Does the pakistani railway commission really pay that well?
It just doesn't pass a smell test.
Perhaps he'd like to meet in Vienna?

[john jay]

marc:

laughing.

i can very well imagine doing that were i a talibani or al queda operative ... must be s.o.p. for them, walking around paki and afghani with burlap sacks containing heads.

they just probably put 'em in the carry on racks above the seats, i would imagine.

nothing special.

i cannot, however, very well imagine me doing that, and living to write you about it.

if i remember from all the spy novels, and the like, that i've ever read, there must be some procedures lined out to take care of that.

and, yes, i would want the money in advance from this particular scrawny butt. as you say, he just doesn't "smell" very honest, now, does he.

i saw a picture of him. he cannot even afford sleeves for his business suit. (he cannot even graft enough to get reasonably fat.)

where's he gonna come up w/ $100,000. american, as they say.

john jay